Keep it to Yourself

Greetings Readers!

I've encountered some people in my life who genuinely do not get why women don't enjoy being catcalled or told to smile on the street and that they should just take it as a compliment. Most women have come to a consensus that catcalling is unacceptable. 

Catcalling is threatening. As a woman, I have to constantly be on alert for sexual predators. I have to do everything in my power to avoid them. The statistics staring me in the face make it pretty obvious that if I am not constantly careful, it can happen to me. And even if I am, it can still happen. It's even more prevalent on college campuses. Therefor, when I am walking home at night and a man standing under a street lamp says, "hey baby" to me, I am immediately on alert. When a friend and I are waiting for a bus at midnight and a car drives by and a man leaning out his window shouting "How's it going ladies?" and then says "Alright fuck you!" when we decide not to respond, it is terrifying and there is no telling what could happen next. When I'm carrying home 5 bags of groceries in the hot summer on the one day I thought it was a good idea to wear pants and a man looks me in the face and says, "Smile, damn!" not only does it make me uncomfortable, I also feel extremely frustrated. 

So, when a man makes comments of this nature toward a woman, she has to be on guard until that man is hopefully gone and she is in the clear. After talking to her and telling her she has a pretty face, the next step could be try to follow her home or to a spot where they are alone. The next step could be to ask her for her number until she is forced to give it to him. 

Once, while grabbing some snacks from the Rite Aid Express a little after 2 am, a man came up to me and told me I was pretty and that we should talk more. He came up to me in the store out of nowhere, followed me around the whole time I was looking for snacks, and did not buy anything. All he was there for was to find some girl alone walking alone. All the employees were busy unloading products all over the store so I didn't really know what to do. I panicked and walked out of the store. He tried to follow me back to my dorm, but luckily I made a quick turn a block after we had left the store and he left me alone. The Rite Aid was right by my dorm so I assumed I would be fine running in there and then heading right back. Luckily, nothing bad happened and I escaped pretty unscathed. He was a pretty short guy, and he wasn't really being aggressive-just creepy and annoying. Most women have stories similar to this, some with less pleasant endings.

So that's how it starts. It's scary. It can get so terrible so quickly. It happens a lot. 

So..............

If you feel the urge to catcall someone or give a physical compliment to a stranger...........

DON'T!

You'll live.

Strangers commenting on your appearance can make you really uncomfortable. It feels like they've been staring at you. It is objectifying. While you might think that a compliment is just a genuine way to be kind to a stranger, the person will be just as fine without it. Consider the feelings of many women who walk down busy streets every day constantly having to be prepared for this kind of behavior. If you really want to say something to this stranger because you want them to be cheered up and you genuinely want their well-being and mood to be improved because it is seemingly less than excellent, consider that they might be just as fine if not better without being approached by a stranger. 

Also consider-- many women have come out in protest of catcalling because they find it degrading, demeaning, objectifying, and threatening. So, since you are being asked nicely, why not just stop? When you do something to another person and they ask you to stop because it upsets them, why not just do it? Isn't that just a better use of time? Is there really still a need to debate whether or not it is excusable?

Life is just better and more enjoyable when people feel comfortable and secure--so do what you can do ensure that. Catcalling inhibits comfort and safety. Just don't do it. And don't defend it. Please and Thank You.