Top 10 Movies of 2018!

I have neglected this blog for over a year now, but I would like to use it again. Now that I've graduated I think it would be beneficial that I continue writing on my own accord since I am no longer required to do so.

These are my top 10 favorite movies of 2018. These aren't necessarily the movies that I think are the best, and I also did not get a chance to see all the movies I wanted to that were released this year, but I did see most. Starting at number 10...

10. Isle of Dogs


I adored this movie. It was warm, funny, charming, with a peculiar premise that was such a treat to watch. Wes Anderson pays so much attention to detail and the way he does it in clay animation makes it even exciting. I don't have all that much to say about this movie other than I just loved it.

9. A Simple Favor

I have always loved Anna Kendrick, and I think for a while many of roles she played involved her having to be "adorkable" all the time, and I really enjoyed watching her play someone who takes that idea and flips it upside down. Blake Lively, on the other hand, was essentially off my radar until this movie and what a travesty that is. She was hilarious, scary, interesting, and always dressed incredibly. I hope she only wears those suits from now on. Both of these leading ladies were complicated, funny, and just charming enough that you could never be 100% sure of their motives. I will say, I thought the ending was a bit too long and too much information had to be given in the big reveal to explain the backstory of Blake Lively's character, but it was still very exciting and there were moments where I genuinely gasped out loud.

8. The Hate U Give

Much like my number one pick for this year, I thought this film explained and worked through code switching really well. Amandla Stenberg gave a great performance along with the rest of a great cast. It also showed how difficult it is when something so personal becomes a public political tragedy and how a community goes through grief. I felt anger, sadness, and ultimately some hope and motivation at the end. There are some moments in the movie that are a little too neat but are used for the sake of narrative that I could have done without. Overall, though, I think this is a must see.

7. Hereditary

Hereditary smacks you in the face right off the bat with an unshakable dread that you have to hold for the rest of the movie, which makes every moment following even more sickening. I had to look away a few times because of how repulsive some of the images were, but I loved it. I loved that it didn't hold back. Horror movies sometimes sacrifice character depth and focus most of their attention on plot, but Hereditary is so invested in the desires, details, and backstories of most of its characters which makes it all the more engaging. I really enjoyed the use of the mother's dioramas at each beat of the movie to separate it into sections and give us a completed image of each stage of the film. I slept with the lights on for about a week after.

6. The Favourite

I'm deeply bored of Oscar-bait period pieces that come out every year around this time, so I assumed I would not like this movie. Everything I expected about The Favourite was completely wrong. It was hilarious, bizarre, beautiful, complicated, surprising, dirty, and exciting in the best ways. Sex has always been a tool to attain power, but watching two women use it for the favor of another woman was so refreshingly absent of gender roles. Not only were the men absent from this tricky triangle, but the men who were in the movie were delightfully stupid. I was so perplexed by yet sympathetic to the three women and their blurry motives. I can't say that I understood everything about it. There were some camera movements that I couldn't stop paying attention to but also could not figure out. If this wins best picture I will not be upset at all.

5. Love, Simon

I saw this movie in theaters 3 times. I have never been so filled with glee than I was at the end of this movie. Tony Hale as the vice principal made me laugh as soon as he was on screen every single time. I have been aching for a good queer romantic teen movie for forever. Obviously I cried during Jennifer Garner's monologue. Something that was so important that this movie got right was that it's not helpful to say things like "I don't see you any differently" or things like that because you should see them differently--you've been given new information about them. In her monologue, the mother says that she has known he has been hiding something for so long and finally he gets to exhale and be himself. PERFECT. Watching a group of teenagers cheer on two boys kissing on top of a Ferris wheel isn't something I could have ever imagined as a kid in high school, and I'm beyond elated that young queer kids got to see that kind of teen romantic fantasy. I will be watching this movie many more times.

4. Hearts Beat Loud

I wish more people had seen this movie. It was so warm, honest, and joyful that it felt magical to watch. It was such a sweet, simple story about a dad and a daughter making music together the summer before she goes off the college. Not to mention, the music they make is actually good! So many movies about music have songs that are really just... fine (Begin Again, Pitch Perfect 2). There is also a cute queer B plot of the daughter meeting a girl at an art museum who she dates for the summer. I could not have loved this movie more. It's simple, small, but spellbinding.

3. Annihilation

Normally, I don't love movies with screen-caps like this with guns, weapons, and other violent things. This movie has a totally different approach to violence. There is so much to say about why I loved this movie that it will take too long, so I will try to condense it into a list; the difference between self-destruction and suicidal behavior, the visual effects, the weirdness of being mirrored by a lifelike version of yourself, DNA reflecting and refracting on itself until everything is a weird moldy mesh, how beautiful all the plants were, the idea that alien lifeforms don't necessarily want anything from us and that they just are, a diverse cast of women with clear motivations and fleshed out backstories, the soundtrack, and the idea of monster. There are so many awards that this movie should win. I saw it twice in theaters and I will definitely be watching it again.

2. Crazy Rich Asians

I chose this picture because this scene BROKE ME. I never cry at romantic comedies, and I definitely don't have any strong feelings about marriage or weddings, but when the water starts coming down the aisle and everyone gets out their light up butterflies I actually wept. I don't think I have ever seen something more stunning. I saw this movie twice and cried even harder the second time. I loved how much style this movie had. It leaned so hard into romantic comedy tropes where a lot of other romantic comedies try unsuccessfully to subvert them. This movie was so funny, so cute, and I was rooting for Rachel the whole time. This was one of those movies that had such a gooey-sweet ending that I didn't just love it but I loved it from my soul.

1. Sorry to Bother You

Sorry to Bother You is the movie I have been aching for for the longest time. A movie that is risky, challenging, funny, original, strange, pretty, and thrilling. I can honestly say I have no complaints or critiques other than I can't find the earrings Tessa Thompson wore at a cheap enough price. I have heard a lot of people say that the movie lost them at the third act when the twist comes, but that was where the movie grabbed me the most. This was also such a fun way to talk about code-switching. I will watch this movie so many more times. It absolutely blew me away.

That's my list! I hope to make myself write more in-depth on the movies I see in the new year. Thanks for reading!

Thoughts on Business, Prison, Masculinity, "Terrorism," Violence, Mental Health, Drugs, Poverty and How They All Coincide

I'll take a leap of faith and say that most people would say that they want the world to be a safe, clean, and easy place to live. In the severely severed society we live in today, the measures on how to go about achieving this goal vary immensely. In this post, I want to discuss the different factors that could be contributing to the inhibition of our safety and security. I would like to emphasize that this is not an attack on any particular group of people, that I believe any given individual is just as much of a product of society as the next individual, and that all I will be attempting to do here is analyze these things in an attempt to offer some ideas that I think could be beneficial. 

The Purpose of Government and Prison

Without an authority to regulate the behaviors of businesses, corporations, and individual citizens there would not be anything to hold people accountable for taking advantage of others. With that precursor, it is important that government fulfill its duty to keep citizens safe and ensure that they are not suffering beyond repair.
When individuals do not follow these rules and regulations, they ought to be reprimanded for these actions so that they understand that they are intolerable and should not be done again. The goal of this reprimanding is to ensure that the individual does not engage in these behaviors again. Thus, the next step should be mental health and rehabilitation. In today's correctional facilities in the United States, this is not what is being done. According to the New York Times article, "Two-thirds of prisoners reoffend within three years of leaving prison, often with a more serious and violent offense." From that, one can consider that perhaps the prison system is not effective in producing better, reformed individuals out of their prisoners. The article also stated "Getting a college degree while in prison is the only program that has ever been shown to be 100 percent effective for years or decades at a time in preventing recidivism." To ensure that people leave prison as a reformed and law-abiding citizen, it appears to be much more effective to enrich the prisoners rather than torture and harshly punish the prisoners. 

The Impact of the War on Drugs

In the early 1970s, President Nixon introduced a campaign to eradicate drug use. Incarceration skyrocketed. We have since seen a 500% increase in incarceration in the United States- disproportionately impacting people of color and the lower class. This was exacerbated through the rhetoric and policies of both the Reagan administration and the Clinton administration. Instead of treating drug abusers as struggling addicts in need of rehabilitation, they were painted as criminals who needed to be put away. 

With an increase in drug arrests came an increased need for prisons. What did this lead to? Private prisons. A correctional facility's main objective should be producing reformed citizens- not making a profit. What are some problems with for-profit prisons? Prisoners are exploited to do horribly cheap labor, due to a loophole in the 13th amendment that allows prisoners to be forced into labor as a form of punishment. To cut costs, food is often shorted. Prisons have a minimum occupancy that they must uphold, and thus there must be enough arrests and incarcerated individuals in the prison. Rather than try to take care of the prisoners and rehabilitate them to get better, their goal is just to fill their prison in any way they can because it's just business. 

The three largest for-profit prison corporations have spent more than $45 million on campaign donations and lobbyists. Again, instead of investing in the prisoners and rehabilitating them to produce better citizens, they spent their money on campaigning and lobbyists but it's just business. 

One might hear that and think that prisoners are all murders, rapists and thieves, but it turns out that almost half (48%) of those in federal prison are there for drug crimes. This is 11 times more than it was in 1980--right around the war on drugs.Another aspect to consider is that "most people incarcerated for drug charges are non-violent, have no prior record, and are addicts rather than major drug-traffickers." One can then infer that a huge chunk of prisoners in federal prison would benefit much more from rehabilitation instead of prison, and thus prison is not the right place for them. With needs to fill these private prisons, drug addicts suffer in prison rather than getting better in a rehabilitation facility. 

Also, something to consider--that 100% of all military IDs, canteens, helmets, and bullet proof vests are created through prison labor. Even the government is benefiting off the exploitation of prison labor.

Another large portion of those negatively affected by mass incarceration are illegal immigrants. Almost 400,000 illegal immigrants a year are held in privately owned correctional facilities.

Correlation Between Poverty, Crime, and Mental Health

The global distribution of wealth is constantly worsening. The world's 62 richest billionaires own as much wealth as the bottom 50% of the world. There isn't much of a debate on poverty and crime going hand in hand. "Poverty and crime combined together leave people with two choices: either take part in criminal activities or try to find legal but quite limited sources of income - when there are any available at all." 

Poverty also has a significant impact on mental health. "The World Health Organization has described poverty as the greatest cause of suffering on earth." Not only can poor mental health lead to severe poverty, it can also result from it. This becomes a horrendous cycle where a deteriorating mental health then leads to more severe poverty. Thus, with poor mental health conditions in a state of despair, it can lead people to use drugs as a way to cope with the unfortunate states of their lives. According to the National Council on Drug Abuse, "A person in an impoverished situation may abuse drugs or alcohol as a way to cope with the dangerous environment she lives in, a way to deal with her financial stresses or a way to cope with physical or emotional abuse. Many times, drugs and alcohol are easily accessible in impoverished neighborhoods where some people actually sell drugs in hopes of overcoming poverty."

Correlation between Masculine Societal Expectations and Crime

James Messerschmidt, a professor from the Department of Criminology, Women and Gender Studies at the University of Southern Maine has discussed the reasons why the expectations of masculinity can lead men to participate in violence and crime. Masculinity is usually characterized by earning lots of money, being successful, being unemotional and stern, being powerful and having power over others, being heterosexual, and these behaviors are all rewarded and the lack of these behaviors are punished. When using the words "rewarded" and "punished," I don't mean literal, tangible rewards or punishments. I mean that our society raises our male youth to believe that these characteristics are what it means to "be a man."

These expectations can lead to violence in an effort to achieve success and dominance that men are raised to believe is necessary to fill their societal role. Not only that, but the rhetoric of "boys will be boys" which excuses behavior of men by insinuating that it is innate and unchangeable, when really they are not. While men may have more testosterone which makes them more inclined to participate in risky behavior, it does not mean that they should be held to these expectations nor should their malicious behavior be excused.

Efforts that men make to repress their emotions in order to seem serious and unfeeling can have detrimental affects on their mental health and growth which can lead to violence. Another issue that causes men to be violent is their need to uphold their reputation of heterosexuality. "Elliot Rodger, who carried out the 2014 shooting in Isla Vista, referenced this type of threat in a video explaining his motives. "I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it," he said." Without this pressure brought on by society for men to fulfill these expectations, these kinds of crimes could decrease, By eliminating these norms in our society, men may feel less inclined or inspired to participate in crime in order to achieve these goals.

The Danger of "Bad Guys" and "Good Guys"

I'd like to start with a quote from Humans of New York. “I can’t stand moral absolutism. You know, there’s always that guy who wants to point out that Martin Luther King cheated on his wife– as if he obviously couldn’t have been a great person if he did something like that. Or someone will bring out an inspirational quote, and get you to agree, and then inform you that Hitler said it. As if a good thought couldn’t come from Hitler. Moral absolutism keeps us from learning from the past. It’s easy to say: ‘Hitler was a demon. Nazis were all bad seeds.’ That’s simple. It’s much harder to say: 'Is that humanity? Is that me?’” 

I think, by human nature, we try to process things by boxing them into categories. This becomes problematic when it comes to humans because individuals are not static and unchanging. Mankind is full of complex individuals that do not always behave how they are predicted. 

What makes someone a bad person? Can a good person do bad things and still be a good person? Does a bad person become a good person when they do something good? Is it actions or intentions that make someone good or bad? Both? Neither? Are "goodness" and "badness" calculable? Are they subjective? 

The answers to these questions are not obvious. Americans specifically have a good guy vs. bad guy mentality. We are often taught that it is "us vs. the bad guys." This is described as social identity theory. In simplest terms, this encompasses in groups and out groups. In groups are groups with which an individual identifies and out groups are groups with which an individual does not identify. For example, the term "terrorism" and "radical Islamic terrorism" tend to be used interchangeably by many, when in reality they are two very different ideas. Terrorism, by definition is the use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims. When a white boy shoots up a black church, that is terrorism. When a mass of police disrupt a peaceful protest against police brutality with violence, that is terrorism. When the United States dropped the very first atomic bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945, that is terrorism. What is the difference between terrorism and defense? 

This polarization of us vs. them creates divides between races, religion, races, classes, and cultures which then results in tensions that can and do lead to blind hatred and violence. Good vs Bad is too black and white to actually apply to the complexity of human beings. It is for that reason that we cannot characterize criminals as simply "the bad guys." Committing a crime should not write someone off as bad and unforgivable, just as much as being a "good guy" should not exempt someone from being held accountable for their actions. Just look at Brock Turner. He was a white, wealthy swimmer at Stanford University, and he barely suffered any repercussions for the brutal rape of an unconscious woman behind a dumpster.

So Now What?

With all these factors in mind, a possible solution arises to combat the issues that combat our society. An emphasis on mental health, feminism and the destruction of strict gender roles, raising the minimum wage, the de-privatization of correctional facilities, immigration reform, and education. 

A more vast prevalence of accessible mental health resources can help poorer individuals who use drugs to combat the mental health issues that can help cope with that poverty. Helping drug abusers have better access to rehabilitation for drug use rather than sticking them in crowded, inhuman prisons will improve their recovery processes and decrease the likelihood of those drug abusers returning to prison. Promoting gender equality and the destruction of gender roles could decrease the drive that correlates with masculinity and crime. Raising the minimum wage with rates of inflation so that people working full time under the minimum wage can make a living wage. This will decrease the likelihood of individuals resorting to crime for survival. Decreasing the privatization of prisons and correctional facilities could help to decrease the administration of prisons of business-minded functioning. Then, it could increase efforts to instead make the focus of those facilities to be producing reformed citizens to society so that they can function well when the return to society instead of simply returning to a correctional facility soon after leaving. Immigration reform that will allow more people into the country legally will decrease the amount of illegal immigrants. It will decrease the amount of illegal immigrants put in detention centers who are stuck their for months even years sometimes to await a trial. Lastly, educating individuals on different factors of other cultures and the complicated set up of businesses, societies, systematic inequalities, and other kinds of divides could be extremely helpful. An emphasis on effective, affordable education to combat those issues rather than each other could help take down the powers that be who uphold these corrupt, unjust standards from which they benefit.

This post included a very large of ideas, and there's no way of knowing if I am right of if my proposed solutions would have any impact that would make any change. These are just ideas I have from the information I have gathered. It is indescribably upsetting every day how dehumanized so many people across the world are due to factors out of their control. It just doesn't seem like the system we have set up is working. I would very much love to hear thoughts, criticism, opinions, concerns, questions, etc. on all the ideas I explained here. Thank you for reading!

Keep it to Yourself

Greetings Readers!

I've encountered some people in my life who genuinely do not get why women don't enjoy being catcalled or told to smile on the street and that they should just take it as a compliment. Most women have come to a consensus that catcalling is unacceptable. 

Catcalling is threatening. As a woman, I have to constantly be on alert for sexual predators. I have to do everything in my power to avoid them. The statistics staring me in the face make it pretty obvious that if I am not constantly careful, it can happen to me. And even if I am, it can still happen. It's even more prevalent on college campuses. Therefor, when I am walking home at night and a man standing under a street lamp says, "hey baby" to me, I am immediately on alert. When a friend and I are waiting for a bus at midnight and a car drives by and a man leaning out his window shouting "How's it going ladies?" and then says "Alright fuck you!" when we decide not to respond, it is terrifying and there is no telling what could happen next. When I'm carrying home 5 bags of groceries in the hot summer on the one day I thought it was a good idea to wear pants and a man looks me in the face and says, "Smile, damn!" not only does it make me uncomfortable, I also feel extremely frustrated. 

So, when a man makes comments of this nature toward a woman, she has to be on guard until that man is hopefully gone and she is in the clear. After talking to her and telling her she has a pretty face, the next step could be try to follow her home or to a spot where they are alone. The next step could be to ask her for her number until she is forced to give it to him. 

Once, while grabbing some snacks from the Rite Aid Express a little after 2 am, a man came up to me and told me I was pretty and that we should talk more. He came up to me in the store out of nowhere, followed me around the whole time I was looking for snacks, and did not buy anything. All he was there for was to find some girl alone walking alone. All the employees were busy unloading products all over the store so I didn't really know what to do. I panicked and walked out of the store. He tried to follow me back to my dorm, but luckily I made a quick turn a block after we had left the store and he left me alone. The Rite Aid was right by my dorm so I assumed I would be fine running in there and then heading right back. Luckily, nothing bad happened and I escaped pretty unscathed. He was a pretty short guy, and he wasn't really being aggressive-just creepy and annoying. Most women have stories similar to this, some with less pleasant endings.

So that's how it starts. It's scary. It can get so terrible so quickly. It happens a lot. 

So..............

If you feel the urge to catcall someone or give a physical compliment to a stranger...........

DON'T!

You'll live.

Strangers commenting on your appearance can make you really uncomfortable. It feels like they've been staring at you. It is objectifying. While you might think that a compliment is just a genuine way to be kind to a stranger, the person will be just as fine without it. Consider the feelings of many women who walk down busy streets every day constantly having to be prepared for this kind of behavior. If you really want to say something to this stranger because you want them to be cheered up and you genuinely want their well-being and mood to be improved because it is seemingly less than excellent, consider that they might be just as fine if not better without being approached by a stranger. 

Also consider-- many women have come out in protest of catcalling because they find it degrading, demeaning, objectifying, and threatening. So, since you are being asked nicely, why not just stop? When you do something to another person and they ask you to stop because it upsets them, why not just do it? Isn't that just a better use of time? Is there really still a need to debate whether or not it is excusable?

Life is just better and more enjoyable when people feel comfortable and secure--so do what you can do ensure that. Catcalling inhibits comfort and safety. Just don't do it. And don't defend it. Please and Thank You. 

Unaware

Oh hey, it's me! Straight, white, cis gender man! I took some time off from watching the Big Bang Theory and playing flip cup to talk to you! I've got some stuff to say about this election. Normally, I don't get too much into politics. Personally, I don't really get it. I always sort of forget about politics. I am only registered to vote because this girl with a clip board made me.

But this election season I got really into Bernie! He was the man! He really stuck it to the system. I swear, the system is always out to get you. I was scrolling through Facebook one day. Most of the posts on there were about the Black Lives Matter movement. Those are on there a lot. Then, something caught my eye. I saw a link to a documentary made by this guy who figured out how the government bugs your phones and your houses! It's almost like the government wants to keep you distracted by always talking about Syria and abortion and stuff so you don't notice what they are doing!

So I loved Bernie and all his ideas about free public colleges and taking down wall street. He was the best. But, as well all know, he did not get the nomination. So now we are stuck with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Honestly, I think I might not vote. I don't love either of these candidates! I loved Bernie. How am I supposed to vote for a candidate that doesn't agree with all my ideas?

I loved how Bernie was out in the protests for Civil Rights. He's always supported those things. I would have loved to have been out in the streets protesting back in the day! Or I would have voted for women to get the right to vote if I was alive back then. I totally would have done all of that! Ever since Bernie I have really gotten into politics. I thought it was so fun! Me and my roommates are going to go as Bernie for Halloween.

But now, here we are, with Hillary and Trump. Honestly, I don't even see why the presidency is so important. Nothing really happens when new people become president. I've been the same ever since Obama was president.

My friend Cathy who is president of this feminist club or something was telling me why I should vote for Hillary, but like people just like say stuff about her ya know? Like she's sketchy, ya know? I don't really know too much about it. I could tell you any fact about any of Bernie's life though. I read a ton of articles about him and watched a ton of interviews.

I just watched the first debate and I didn't really like it. They just argued the whole time! I don't see why there is so much arguing in politics. I'm pretty nice to people and they are never mean to me when I am nice. I find it pretty easy to get along with people. I would rather just not be into politics anymore. It's not fun now. If I do vote though, I might vote for Gary Johnson. I think he's supposed to be cool.

Yikes

Sup Readers!

I remembered that in my intro I talked about how I am excellent at being a mess, and I realized I had really lacked sharing some of the most embarrassing and cringe worthy things I have done. I don't have a lot of shame, so this happens very often. Here is a compiled list of some fun times I have done soups awk things. They might have been in front of people, they might not have been. 

1. I was reading an article about Lin-Manuel Miranda. *Since he is such a wonderful man, I sort of said it out loud without thinking. I was sitting in a hallway at work reading it because I was keeping an eye on people coming in to the office. As I said, "oh what a wonderful man," a man walked through the hallway, awkwardly waved at me, then kept walking. I mean honestly, I WISH I was that forward when I thought a stranger was wonderful, but I certainly am not and I certainly am not pumped that some strange man thought it was me. 

2. The other day, while brushing my teeth, I felt a sneeze coming on. I didn't want to sneeze on the mirror because that would be gross. I leaned my head down toward the sink** so that I could just rinse it down the drain. I'm sure you have sneezed before--taking a leap of faith. When you sneeze, you head sort of thrusts itself downward and quite quickly at that. Do you know what is in a sink? It's a faucet. Faucets are made of metal, They are not soft or cushion-like. I whacked my head on the faucet and just sat on the bathroom floor going "AHHHH" because it hurt ferociously.

3. Later than same day, I walked into the bathroom in the cathedral of learning. When I walked in I didn't recognize the bathroom. It felt like the twilight zone. I saw construction tape and I was like oh that must be it. Then I noticed urinals and I thought oh how progressive we can use those too now. Most people would have realized they were in the men's room. Not me though, I love jumping to a good old conclusion.

4. This last one... is very near and dear to my heart because it just explains so much about who I am as a person. I would like to point out that I am very neurotic and I always think the worst thing is happening, and usually nothing happens and everything is lukewarm and blah. However, every once in a while, something like this happens that totally justifies every ridiculous thing that I do and think. This one is a little gross, but also chill out. This was really the only thing I wanted to talk about because it came up in my time hop the other day and I just feel like the world needs to know. 

So last year, I lived in a dorm on a floor where I shared a bathroom with about 11 other girls. One early evening, let's say around 6, I was going to go hang out with some friends for the evening or some other event that would involve me being gone from my dorm for 4-5 hours. I had to go to the bathroom--number 2 as the kids are calling it. I will explain this as politely as possible. Basically, I went in a hurry and didn't realize that somebody had gone before me and forgotten to flush***. I realized this after I had gone. Basically, there was nothing I could do. So naturally, I panicked and left for the evening. I got a little paranoid that I was going to be in trouble. I knew that was stupid but also it was just the ridiculous thing plaguing my brain. As I was walking back to my dorm I was thinking, "Lizzie, if anything you might overhear someone gossiping about it." 

OH WRONG WAS I. I get off the elevator to my floor and the hallways are covered in fliers. What do these fliers say? Well, in bold, underlined, and in all caps is the heading "WHO DID THIS?!" Then there were two pictures of the... incident. There was a little blurb underneath the A+ photographs which read as follows *clears throat* 

"Recently, the residents of Lothrop Hall have been seeing mysterious poops left in the toilet, These are not normal poops, my friends. The picture on the right is evidence of this. Even our cleaning lady screamed in horror the day she saw the first poop left by the 'Lothrop Log Dropper'. If you have any information on who may be dropping these logs, please put it in the Lothrop Lop Dropper Evidence File**** located in the Lounge. Thank you for your time. And to the Lothrop Log Dropper... we will find you. --  Concerned Residents."

I would have loved to have been there when they all got around one person's computer and decided which vocabulary terms to employ and what sounded the best. What were their emotions? Were they laughing? Frightened? Alert? 

And what did they think was going to come out of it if they DID find out who it was? Send me to the doctor? Make fun of me? Make me pay a quarter every time I used to bathroom? Get one of those kid bathrooms for my own room? 

I will say, props for the name. If there is ever a super hero movie about my life, I definitely want the hero to be called that. I'm wondering if any of the girls from my floor who wrote it are reading this now. If so, hey. If not, bye. 

So now, any time I feel like I am being neurotic and silly about the worst possible thing that could happen I remember, "Hey, sometimes something even worse could happen that you aren't creative enough to imagine, apparently."

Honestly, I can't say this is the first, second, third, even fourth time that my bowels have embarrassed me. The other day at Shrek the Musical during a very quiet moment my stomach erupted like the cracken and growled for no less than 30 seconds. One time I was at a really fancy restaurant and I did in fact clog the toilet all by my self. I didn't want to be the worst and leave it for someone else to deal with. Honestly public places need to keep plungers in the bathroom. I went to the bar of the restaurant and asked the waiter if I could have a plunger and he just said, "I'll let someone know." That was a fun conversation. Another time, I was spending the night at a friend house for the first time and I clogged her toilet, Her dad was the only one who knew where the plunger was so he had to go get it and he came up and brought it into the bathroom. Loved that. Basically if I haven't clogged up your toilet we aren't really friends. 

I guess if I can take anything from the experiences that I have constantly which are very similar to those mentioned above, at least now I probably won't be surprised. 

*If I have to tell you who that is, you should probably get out more

**this thought process took place in a 2 second span.

***literally WHO DON'T PEOPLE FLUSH HOW DO YOU FORGET THE FINAL STEP OF THE TOILET PROCESS WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN YOU HAVE CAUSED ME SO MUCH HARM

****which actually existed, I checked right after I read one of the signs. 

Kinky Boots

Hello Readers!

Tonight I saw Kinky Boots. It was so amazing. Without a doubt, it was one of the most colorful, magical performances I have ever seen. It got me thinking a lot about gender and the restrictive binary in which we exist. 

"Ladies and gentleman and those who have yet to decide" was repeated several times throughout the musical. I was a little hesitant to be excited about this because while it is acknowledging that gender isn't just a thing you are born in and stay with for your whole life, I would have preferred if they had said, "Ladies and gentleman and everyone in between."  Just because someone is not at one polarized end of the spectrum of gender doesn't mean they have yet to decide. It's perfectly plausible that they have chosen neither. Sexuality and gender sort of sit in the same muscle, and if people think that bisexuality is a person in the middle of the spectrum, why can't people accept that someone could be in the middle of the gender spectrum? I've heard plenty of people talk about how using "they" instead of he or she when referring to someone can trip them up and can be a little hard at first. Sure, you will have to THINK. Okay. Well, hang in there. It's a lot harder for people who have gone their whole lives feeling uncomfortable and struggling with their gender identity. Really, it takes you two seconds to remind yourself of people's proper pronouns, so why can't you just do it? If a woman got married and told you to call her Mrs. instead of Ms. you would do it. Why wouldn't you do it if someone explained that they wanted you to call them they? 

What it means to be a man was another big theme throughout the show. In the end, what it meant to be a man was sort of to accept people for who they are? It wasn't super clear, but that is what I gathered. That's not a bad thing for a man to be, but I felt a little frustrated that they made it about what a man is rather than just what a good person is. 

Gender and sexuality are really interesting to me and I haven't read nearly as much literature on the topics as I ought to. Sometimes I wonder if the world would be easier if there were no gender, but it isn't, and it won't be most likely. Some people find real comfort in their gender identity and it means a lot to them, so I wouldn't want to take that away from them. Also, I can't. Also, Nobody is asking me to make an executive vote. 

In Kinky Boots, there were a few characters who gave Lola a hard time about her gender and how she needed to "be a real man." Why is gender so strict to some people that they get angry when people don't feel comfortable with the gender they were assigned at birth? Why does it matter so much to some people what a man or a woman is that it is so vital that they stick strictly to the things associated with their gender and only that? What do you think will happen if they don't? 

Well, I'll tell ya. People will express themselves as they see fit and they will feel like the most authentic versions of themselves. There should be no reason that this would make someone angry. Even if someone doesn't understand it, why wouldn't they be excited to learn about someone different than them instead of being hostile toward them? Just like I said in my last post, patience and kindness can really make any disagreement more doable and more fixable.

Overall though, the musical was fantastic. It was a little problematic, but proper representation is so hard, every piece of art is always going to have some way it could have been better, and LGBTQIA+ representation is so yikes today so ya take what ya can get. 

Tubular Ubular Ride

Greetings Reader!

It seems like it would be in my best interest to start on a positive note for the first post on this platform, so I will do so. I think most people would agree that they are most comfortable around others when they feel like they can be the most authentic version of themselves. In fact, saying so seems somewhat redundant. Seldom do people enjoy hiding parts of themselves and apologizing for them when they slip out. That kind of tiptoeing is exhausting, unpleasant and lacks any benefit. 

I thought about this the other day when I took a somewhat unorthodox Uber ride. The ride would only be about five minutes, so I just got in as one does. The driver turns around and says, "I just have one question for you...are you ready to have fun?" I usually am, so I said yes. I assumed she was just being enthusiastic and chipper. She pulls out a microphone, looks me straight in the eye and screams, "Uber Karaoke! Do you have a song ready?" Since this has never happened to anyone ever, I did not. She said, "That's okay-- I'll go!" She put on a song that she really did not know all the words to, but sang as much as she did. She was also giving live commentary on the lyrics of the song when didn't know the words, which was hilarious. I was laughing through the entire song, and she belted out the whole thing. I wish that I had had a song prepared because she seemed like the best hype girl an uber client could ever ask for. 

People authentically, unapologetically enjoying themselves is so joyful and wholesome. Having a good time is so much easier when you aren't self conscious about what others will think about you. 

I went to a Young The Giant concert a few weeks ago. During the opening act, I was really digging the opening band. The rest of the crowd was bobbing their heads, but nobody was going too crazy except for one other guy about 15 people to my left. I really wanted to put my arms up and do the rock-out-hand-thing. It took me until the headliner came on and the rest of the crowd was really digging them to be comfortable enough to really jam. I got really frustrated with myself that I was worried about people staring at me when I paid just as much to go to that concert* and there was no reason for me not to jam out other than my discomfort with the stares of strangers. 

I will say this--I am much more comfortable embarrassing myself than the average Joanne. At one of my old jobs, we had to do a little traveling together. Once, while my coworkers and I were walking somewhere, we overheard a stranger say, "Wow! Your belt matches your shoes!" to her friend. So, okay, not that weird. Not even not that weird, it was 100% not weird at all to say that. It was a little whimsical at most. I noticed one of my coworkers shoot her a look. The person on the street didn't notice, but my coworker told us a little about her service to society. She said, "that was weird. You know, whenever people say weird stuff like that I always just give them a look." I grabbed a handful of daisies from a nearby garden to give to her as a token of gratitude for her wisdom and judgement of those below her. It really meant a lot to me that she took time out of her day to make others feel weird and bad about themselves when she had all the time in the world to concern herself with other more important and productive things- counting blades of grass, for example. 

As much as I valued my coworker as my swagger coach**, I definitely enjoyed myself so much more in my uber ride with my goofy, singing driver. I really love doing improv because of this similar vibe that is necessary for a scene to function. In improv, it's so important to say yes to the weirdness. It is vital to add to the peculiarity. "Yes-Anding" is how most improvisers refer to this method***. I never have to apologize for anything I say that might be interpreted by another as strange. Yes-anding is such a better way to treat people than "No-byeing" them. 

I was thinking about this today because I read about yet another tragedy in the news. It made me feel frustrated and I just wished people could be more kind to one another. The example I gave above probably isn't the kind of cruelty that leads to tragedies that make the news, but kindness and patience with others certainly helps remove that sort of rhetoric--or at least decreases it to a degree. 

What I have written may come off as preachy, but such is life. I have been consumed with thought about how exhausting unkind people are and how much time people waste being rude when situations would have been so much more pleasant if everyone involved had been patient as well as kind. It's just a better use of time. I think I have said my piece now. I might be the only one reading this. If so, nice work, dude. You are dope and it's totally okay that you only have dimples on one side of your face. You're killin' it.

~the end~

*I actually paid a little less because I got this girl to sell her ticket to me for less than she originally paid because I am INTIMIDATING and GOOD AT HAGGLING and you should RESPECT ME.

**or cool consultant, if you prefer 

*** I really hope me explaining this doesn't sound pretentious because I know that most people that I know already know what yes-anding it, but I didn't want to leave anyone out I don't even know if anyone will read this sorry DON'T YELL AT ME.